One Year Older And Another Year...

Well, I guess if I waited for another few days I could have this be an annual post. So much has happened and I don't know that I'll catch it up. I do want to record some thoughts. I won't rewrite the story as Susan has done a good job of recording the tale of Joshua, the pencil and the hospital. I'm very grateful to all my extended family. Everyone showed great concern and care and was so helpful. I'd be lying if I said I didn't cry at all as the whole ordeal went on. Being sick and not being able to be there for Joshua and Susan was really hard. Having Trent and Dad go and give Joshua a blessing was really great. Having my siblings call or come by and see how I was doing was great. I found out today that a bunch of people in our new ward were fasting and praying for Joshua and our family. That was really neat considering how at peace we really were considering the serious nature of his injury. I've heard of studies that say that prayer doesn't matter and it has no effect on anything. Honestly, I'm not surprised at their findings. I went to college as a science major. I understand how studies really work. I also understand the mentality of a majority of the people in academic sciences. So, to know that a 'study' said anything is really pointless. My personal opinion in most cases has more merit and credibility than most studies. The reality of prayer is evident in my own personal experiences with it and the outcomes I've witnessed. Ha ha ha, I'm so random. Don't read this blog if you're looking for any continuity of thought. I get on a tangent and really stick to it until I realized I'm on it then quickly jump to the next! What I will say is considering all that's going on with my little family and my extended family and in my life in general right now, I feel exceptionally peaceful. I'd be a fool to claim any credit for that peace, as I know myself all too well and that my personal failings wouldn't afford me peace. However, my faith in Christ (if you don't understand this, you can...if you want) gives me peace as life appears chaotic about me. OK, let's see if I can get this out... It appears that a majority of what I worry about, when I worry, is pointless. What I mean is, worrying about it did nothing to make it better and most of the time the thing I allow myself to worry about isn't as important as it appeared to be at the time. I'm still just a kid, so this is a lesson I hope I can begin to use in my life now. I guess the ability to quickly evaluate what's worth attention, effort and energy is one of the most valuable. It presupposes that you would be really clear about what you want if you have the ability to evaluate quickly and act appropriately. I was at a seminar my brother Trent put on yesterday on short sales for real estate agents. The long and short of the seminar, which was quite good and presented by a bank insider, was that banks make decisions based on the cold numbers and nothing more. However, the people that work at the bank make their decisions based on emotion. So if you want to get a bank to accept a short sale offer then you have to work with the people at the bank in a way that caters to their emotions while presenting an offer that has the cold hard numbers that they are looking for. What's that little stint doing in this post? Well, I think it totally relates to the concept of first making sure that what I invest my time and effort in is based on something real. Then I've got to pay attention to the emotional part of those around me. I guess it could sound like I'm suggesting you 'manipulate' those around you to get to the real objective. I guess if your life is very self centered then that would be correct. However, I believe that life doesn't go on in a vacuum. I believe that my life is intricately weaved with the lives of everyone on the earth now and in the future and that my life is also tied to those who have gone before. While this doesn't make my perfect, I try to consider this when I make decisions and when I think about how others respond to me. I've had people invest money in business ventures that have not panned out. I've invested money with people in ventures that have not panned out. Both of those scenarios could eat a person alive or cause someone to go into denial and become jaded. I've looked at it like this. I've always given my all. I've always done the best I knew how at the time. I try and listen to the inspiration made available to me and clear out any 'noise'. Then I trust that everything went as it needed to go to help the most people, in the best way. God doesn't 'make' things happen to manipulate His children on earth, but I know that He will guide those who are open to be, do and have what they need to help the most of His children return to Him while honoring their choice. I have fought against what I could not control. I'm trying not to do that any more. Doesn't mean I don't try really hard to move things the direction I'd like them to go, but once I've done all that I can do I trust God's wisdom to be at work and look forward with faith to the resolution of what I don't understand. Seems to be a delicate balance between what I can and ought to do and what I can't and ought to accept. I guess everyone is learning that in their own way. I really think that's one of the BIG lessons that we're here to learn. God couldn't make us become like Him and return and live with Him. It would completely destroy the point of the matter. While God honors laws that are unchangeable and eternal, there is no one making him do so. He honors the laws because He knows that is what must be done from His own experience. He has sent us here to learn of our own experience what is good and true and live according to that because we've learned for ourselves that it is best. Not because God rules my life against my will. But rather, because I'm learning from falling or kicking against what is good and true that living in harmony with what is good and true brings me real happiness. I know I've got a good way to go before I'm like God, but knowing that is where I want to be and that through Christ's atonement, some how, all my short comings will be overcome and the final product of my life will be what matters gives me real peace. ha ha ha...I was interrupted and lost my train of thought. Oh, well. Write what I can when I've got it to write. Not working on a book here, just putting out what's on my mind. I recently found out my Grandfather has colon cancer. If you know him, you know he's pretty steady. Very methodical and consistent in most all of his life. Generally speaking, he's just a good man. He has his funny quirks that make all his grand children laugh. He's had white hair as long as I can remember. He was in the Navy during World War II and I love to hear his stories about the war. He probably hates when I start on my questions, as I have a million of them for him and Grandma about what life was like when they were younger. Hey, they've seen a lot! Growing up during the Great Depression, World War II and on. He loves baseball. Kind of a bummer that I didn't ever really get into baseball, so when he starts talking about the standing of a team I just nod my head and pretend like I have a clue. I don't know, it's kind of surreal to think of him passing away. I don't know if that's odd to say considering he's still alive, but I guess I never thought about it. He's been a real constant in my life. There are things I don't understand about him, but I guess that's true of anyone. I'd like to know why he quit coming to church. What he really thinks about life and what it's all about. Why he thinks he's here. OK. I'm done.